My grandmothers were extraordinary women. I was fortunate to have been close to them both, as a child & as an adult. Now that I am a grandmother I think of them often. Years ago I started making a list of things to do with my grandchild many of which are based on my memories of Nannie & Grandma Hattie.
Harriet Mariah Milner (Nannie) was my mother’s mother. As a small child her father placed her & her younger brother in an orphanage in Ohio when her mother died. Her father remarried & had two more children but his new wife didn’t want Nannie & her brother so they remained in the orphanage until age 18.
Lou & I visited the grounds of the former orphanage on one of our recent trips. It was a beautiful, serene setting but what a horrible way to grow up. A small saving grace was that Nannie made friendships at the orphanage that lasted her entire life.
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| Nannie around the time she graduated high school. |
My childhood memories of Nannie:
Nannie wasn’t much of a house cleaner but we had lots of fun in the kitchen. She always baked Toll House chocolate chip cookies with us & let us eat as many as we wanted. One time we made butter in the mixer because she said churning was too much work.
When Karen & I stayed over at Nannie’s, she would warm the towels in the dryer & wrap us up in them after our bath – so cozy. We slept upstairs & the bathroom was downstairs which meant we got to pee in the chamber pot upstairs at night. We thought it was so cool for some reason. J
We would have dog shows in her back yard as we dragged our stuffed dogs around the ring on a leash. Nannie would watch us & if she was the judge it was always a tie.
My adult memories of Nannie:
Nannie always had fun thoughts to share. My favorite (that I’ve shared with Allison) was when I was breastfeeding Darrin. She said, “Mother’s milk is the perfect food for babies. It’s always the right temperature, readily available & it comes in such a cute, little container!”
Her husband was a truck driver so she spent a lot of time alone. She said that people would always ask her if she was lonely when Grandpa Frank was away so much. She told me she replied, “No, not at all. I rather enjoy my own company.” I wholeheartedly agree.
Nannie always spelled swear words even when we were adults. She used to delight in telling how when I was about five, I got a black gumball from the penny machine & exclaimed, “Oh, shit, a black one!” Of course, she spelled it, S-H-I-T.
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Henrietta Mae Poitz (Grandma Hattie) was my father’s mother. Grandma Hattie came home from school at age 11 to find her mother dead on the kitchen floor. She had taken her own life due to complications from what we now believe was Lou Gehrig’s disease. That day she became the woman of the house & mother to her six year old sister.
At age 19, just before she married Grandpa Harry, Hattie completely lost all four fingers on her right hand (she was right-handed) in a horrific meat grinder accident at her father’s butcher shop leaving only her thumb on that hand. Later Grandma Hattie joked she must have been daydreaming about her husband to be.
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| Grandma Hattie dressed up for one of her club meetings. |
My childhood memories of Grandma Hattie:
I remember taking the bus to downtown Oakland with Grandma Hattie on a regular basis. We would shop at Montgomery Wards (Monkey Wards, I called it). We ate lunch at a cafeteria where you walked along with a tray & chose the items you wanted. I always picked applesauce & mashed potatoes with gravy - what a great lunch!
Grandma Hattie was an excellent seamstress. She made us matching outfits once that we modeled in a women’s league fashion show. She sewed a suit for four year old Darrin for our first cruise.
At six years old Grandma Hattie & Grandpa Harry took me on the roller coaster at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. My parents hated it & wouldn’t ride, but I loved it! Still do.
My adult memories of Grandma Hattie:
I am truly amazed at what Grandma Hattie was able to do with no fingers on her right hand – she changed cloth diapers with pins, crocheted, sewed beautifully, taught us to tie shoes, cooked & cleaned. It was normal to us. Years later, my husband’s mother asked what happened to Grandma Hattie’s hand? Confused, I replied, “What do you mean?” I had forgotten about her missing fingers!
A few months after Grandpa Harry died, Grandma Hattie & I rode all the wild amusement park rides at Frontier Village. She was in her mid-seventies at the time & laughed like crazy. I guess it skipped a generation. I’m so glad I could share that with her.
Grandma Hattie belonged to all sorts of clubs including the PTA. She traveled all over the country for conventions of various women’s groups. At only 5 feet tall & 110 pounds, she was too light to give blood. So she just put weights in her pocket & did it anyway.
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I was extremely fortunate to know both of my grandmothers as women, not just grandmas. They both loved being great grandmas to Darrin. It was a real blessing for me to help care for each of them in their last days. Both died at home in hospice care from cancer – Nannie at age 75 & Grandma Hattie at age 83.
Despite their traumatic childhoods, both of my grandmothers were kind, loving, capable women who bring a smile to my face every time I think of them. It is my hope that I will create lots of those precious memories with my Charley Ellen & many, many years from now, as an adult, she will remember me fondly with love in her heart.
